Feelings, Love, Warmth

That Stare

He told me he wants to tell me something important. I was wondering, has he seen something? Maybe, the loss of blood shows on my face. It was the way he stared in my face when he told me that. Was he staring at my face, or my eyes, or my lips, my forehead? How does he get to stare like that? And what’s so important?

So I waited, maybe anxiously. What would he make of my eyes? Was he going to ask questions about how I lost blood? I didn’t want anyone to find out how someone did that to me… Maybe because I’ll loose respect? I don’t even understand why I should feel that way.

Maybe, Grey Princess, you got noticed by a nice guy again. Maybe, you are nice enough to be treated nice again. Maybe, he just love your eyes. Or just maybe, you are getting ahead of yourself. Right. Ahead of yourself, days have passed, and he hasn’t said anything.

But finally, he caught me unawares, totally off guard. Oh my gosh… That stare again. Did I do something wrong to him? Has he realized I saved his number? Oh girl, you are tripping, how can he know you saved his number? Still staring into my eyes. And why can’t I take my eyes off his? I am supposed to be shy and blush-y for no reason. But my eyes got locked into his. What exactly is happening?

O, I hope he isn’t going to imply I am just over reacting. That would be a shame. But why is my heart beat weird? Running and then slowing down? Ok, this is all weird, relax Grey Princess.

Then he finally spoke up, “I love your eyes. They are beautiful.” Wait, what? And why did my heart sink? Ugh, is this supposed to be happening? Great. Too many questions I don’t want answers to. Does this mean he likes me? And I think I am in love.

I’m in love with that stare. Feels like he was staring at my soul. Like I felt like I was naked, spelt out, loved?, open, important?, and wanted. Ugh, doing it again, going ahead of yourself. See what happened when you did?

But I want to feel this way with “the one”, I’ve always wanted to feel this way. Am I allowed? Is it good for me to feel this way?

But what if?


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