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The Transitional Mode

Everything seem to be moving so fast around me. My professional life and income is on the fast track and I cannot be happier. Everything that people who didn’t know me had mocked me for, I can get and much more. I still cannot believe the man I loved so dearly subtly looked down on me for such, I wish I could rub it in his face now, but, I banned him from my life.

But not so much for my emotional and relationship life. My new boyfriend seem off and my recent ex is trying as hell to get back hitting notes that sends me off balance. He’s such a bad news and is using one of my greatest weakness to get to me. But thankfully, I’ve grown past it.

So what do I think of relationships at this moment? I’m going to use my last strength to forget about being in one, having hopes of having good one. Because, I am tired of being in the situation where I have to constantly think about whether he loves me or not, whether he has seen someone else and reconsidering, whether I am being used, whether my love isn’t good enough for him, whether all what I am doing gets to him, whether he actually likes looking at me, thinking of me, planning with me in mind, whether I am important to him, whether he would like to spend the rest of his life building with me and not wanting to back out.

It’s been one waking horrible relationship from one to the other. Always being a “victim”, being abused emotionally, psychologically and morally. It’s unending.

What’s it going to be? Relationship or not?

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