Hmm… *chuckles* See, as a child, I would dream about a good future. Cause I did all that everyone describes as a success road.
I studied hard, topped the class, became the favorite in my class, the model, something everyone wanted to be. I climbed the educational ladder, until tertiary.
Love life? *Chuckle* I studied that too. What a man wants in a woman; Learning to cope and adjust; How to be a good wife; A working mum; etc… I have done all this.
But… *Chuckles* Nothing has worked.
I worked with a company who didn’t pay me. I went on to work with a company whose people are just straight up unbearable. I have to do all sort of work: Accounting; Marketer; Social Media Analyst; Secretary; HR Manager; Manager of the whole place; the idea brewer…. I could go on and on.
As if that is not enough, I had to sleep in the store room floor of someone’s house, move to stay with my sister, then get evicted to move into a man’s house who just wanted to sleep with me and make me a laugh of my enemies. Ah! It’s been haaard! To be the laugh of my
enemies? What did I do wrong? I have no place to go. I have no choices anymore. What did I do wrong?
Haven’t I tried to live good values? Haven’t I been good even when I’ve been treated bad? Haven’t I been at least honest? Haven’t I loved hard enough? What has been my wrong? That my mum is being forced to leave on the streets? Including her own daughters? What have I done wrong?
I am tired. I am weary. I am worn! I am a tired woman. I don’t know to trust anymore, I don’t know to love anymore, I don’t know to dream anymore. Because I have tried my best. And I am just not reaping what I sowed.
Now I walk with sore foot, tarted clothes, sad face, dark vision. So now, what is there to life? Does it even pay to have cultivated all this honors? What is the point then?