When Love Fades

When I was young, you were my role model, my provider, my father. I wanted to be just like you, but I wondered what would make you laugh. But each day, you never smiled or laugh at mom’s jokes. I thought something was wrong. I wanted to love you, but I didn’t know how. Because, you never thought me how love looked like.
I grew and found that you were bad. But you never apologized, why? Now, I don’t know how to love you and I don’t care. Love faded away.

I was young. I was cold, sad, rejected and unloved. I wondered why people laughed, I wondered, what is love? People snared at me and called me dirty. People look down at me with such hatred, what the hell is love? I felt desperate, I knew I needed love, but found none. What is a mother’s love? What is a father’s love? How does it feel to have siblings? How does it feel to be hugged? My love faded before it grew.

I fell in love. You were all I thought about. And I just worked so hard to make us stay together. But you made me fall and pretended to catch me. Then you let go of me. My heart broke, my mind couldn’t comprehend, I couldn’t hold on to love. It didn’t make sense. My love faded into darkness.

I loved you so much, and got pregnant with you. You denied me. And never visited me once. Oh, how cruel of you! I dropped out of school but you were headed for the top. I felt rejected, abused, cold and broken. What would become of me and my child? I didn’t know whether to hate the child or not. But I bet it’d be too cute because we were cute.
Even in the delivery room, I wished I saw your frame. What does love mean to me? Nothing but scraps in the damp site. The only love I know now is my child and the yearn to head for the top.

You made the world seems colourful and everything else looked gray. Next, we were married. How proud I was! You made me a queen, your queen. But what has changed? Do I look fat? Am I too skinny? Am I dumb? I don’t suit you anymore? You hate my nose now? Your business partners laugh at us? Oh… Do you know how this feels? Do you care to know? How can you not be empathetic? Your words hurt! Where did the love for me go?
You brought another woman into our home, or should I say, your home?
What is love to me? It is a foolish feeling for fools!

I want to head for presidency. I want to be the president of this corporation. I worked deligently. But my ideas were not good enough to you. My efforts were not rewarded. There was no social security, no health securities or benefits. I was your money making machine right?
Over-worked me to create your ideal company. But when you do that, you nurture corruption and breed dissatisfaction. Where is my love for working? I say, screw you! No one deserves this!

And so the world has got many of these testimonies and more. Everybody is hurt. Everybody wants an escape. Everyone is sore. How would you paint our world now. Everyone is keeping their love, or cannot find their love.
The world has faded from colourful to gray because love faded.

When love fades, the world is an ugly place. How powerful love is!


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